The secret lives of porn addicts: ‘I am meticulous about covering my tracks’ | Pornography | The Guardian
As pornography use soars, some men feel their behaviour is moving from a compulsion to an addiction. They describe how this affects their health, happiness and relationships

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The Impact of Pornography Use on Men's Health, Happiness, and Relationships
- Some men describe their pornography use as moving from a compulsion to an addiction, affecting their health, happiness, and relationships.
- Tony, in his 50s, calculates that he has spent eight years of his life looking at pornography and feels a sense of failure and intense guilt.
- Tony saw his first hardcore film in the 1980s and his habit turned into a full-blown addiction when he connected to the internet in his 20s.
- Tony keeps his addiction a secret from everyone and has tried to quit multiple times without success.
- The ubiquity of mobile phones has led to a soaring increase in pornography use, with 13.8 million people in the UK viewing porn online in May 2023.
- Two-thirds of these viewers are men, and British children, on average, start watching porn at the age of 12.
The Impact of Pornography Addiction on Individuals and Relationships
- Paula Hall, a psychotherapist, believes that pornography addiction is a real and significant issue causing suffering for individuals.
- Peter Waddington, a counsellor with Relate, notes that people struggling with pornography addiction can experience physical pain, sleep deprivation, and feelings of shame.
- Hall and Waddington both advocate for classifying pornography addiction as a recognized addiction and providing resources for prevention and treatment.
- Hall's study on British pornography habits reveals that a significant number of individuals who struggle with controlling their porn use also experience depression and suicidal thoughts.
- Tony, a self-identified addict, describes how pornography addiction has negatively impacted his ability to form and maintain relationships.
- The algorithms used by pornography websites to recommend content can contribute to addiction by continuously offering new and more stimulating material.
- Pornography addiction is often a factor in relationship breakdowns, as partners may discover secret porn viewing or excessive use.
The Impact of Pornography on Young Men's Sex Lives and the Need for Improved Sexual Literacy
- Assessing the impact of porn consumption on young men with erectile dysfunction is challenging due to the difficulty in finding a control group not using pornography or morally against it.
- Performance anxiety and losing an erection during foreplay are normal for teenage boys, but lack of understanding the basics due to early exposure to porn can be a concern.
- More research is needed to understand the impact of widely available pornography in the digital age, as existing research is often biased.
The Impact of Pornography Addiction on Health, Relationships, and Society
- Men describe pornography use as moving from a compulsion to an addiction.
- Addiction to pornography affects health, happiness, and relationships.
- Pornography addiction can lead to a sense of failure and intense guilt.
- The ubiquity of mobile phones has led to a soaring increase in pornography use.
- British children, on average, start watching porn at the age of 12.
- Pornography addiction causes suffering for individuals and should be recognized as a significant issue.
- People struggling with pornography addiction can experience physical pain, sleep deprivation, and feelings of shame.
- Pornography addiction can lead to depression and suicidal thoughts.
- Addiction to pornography negatively impacts the ability to form and maintain relationships.